6 October 2014

Rediscovering My Passion

I feel as if I am in a writer’s block! Can you even be in one if you’re not much of a writer? Perhaps I am feeling this way because there is so much I want to say about this remarkable journey I just experienced, but there are simply not enough words to describe it all. I guess I’ll just start with what I wrote down on the first night of the trip.

28. 09. 2014
Today was not what I expected. I was feeling full of energy wondering what the week will bring, yet in the same time, I felt agitated from being surrounded by so many new faces. Why did I decide to jump on a bus with strangers and travel over 30 hours to Canberra and back, spreading the word on extreme poverty? I guess there is no turning back now. 

Our first activity of the trip was door knocking. I thought I would be fine with it but I felt as if I couldn’t do it. I imagined myself in the other persons shoes, looking at us as if we were asking for money that would go straight into our pockets because I find not all organisations stay true to their missions anymore. There were many who shut the door in our faces perhaps because my negative thoughts passed on to them. I didn’t believe in what I was doing. I hope I’ll find my passion by the end of the trip.

Later that night after stopping for a freeze-frame in the city and then heading to the Byron Bay lighthouse, we had out first facilitation session, which I thought was very enlightening! We wrote down three things we were good at and three things we wanted to improve on, then in pairs we discussed each point trying to somehow give the other person our wisdom. I really connected with the person I was with. It is strange how people who hardly know each other can open up and share their most trusted thoughts. I really didn’t expect this trip to be so eye opening. I can’t wait to see how I come out.

A quote I took away that night: “Your strengths are your biggest weaknesses.”
I forgot to continue writing each night. I guess I got caught up in all the emotions of the trip. I remember throughout the week I began to feel very intimidated by others. The one question I feared the most was, “What made you come on the road trip?” Everyone seemed to be so passionate with what they were doing and there I was not really sure why I was there. I felt as if I didn’t have an answer and tried to make up one that sounded good enough but it always came out very messy. During the facilitation sessions, I tried to speak up but nothing would come out. I guess it was because I didn’t have the right motives behind what I was going to say. I thought I needed to say something that others would find inspiring. I realise now that I was simply overthinking it. When you speak from your heart, the right words will always come out. I wish I realised that sooner.

Despite the fears that came over me during the week, I found this trip incredible! I don’t think I’ve ever been so open with people I just met. I guess it is because they all had beautiful hearts and you could feel that warm energy straight away. Everyone was so unique and I simply fell in love with each and every one of them. I really hope I don't lose the connections I made because these are the people who will keep me going.

My biggest takeaway from the trip is that time gets wasted by fear. I don’t know why I was so focused on saying the right things and thinking I wasn't passionate enough. I do care for others and I do want to see change happen. I made the choice to get on that bus that Sunday morning and I am sure that if I didn’t care, I would have found an excuse to not go. Thank you for reminding me why I do what I do.